If you’ve ever driven in your life, you know that you HAVE to keep your eyes on the road. I mean, even if you’ve never driven in your life, I’m assuming that you would want your driver to keep their eyes on the road. You want them to keep looking forward so that they can focus on what’s going on ahead of them. Well, I have a question: how are you supposed to drive if you’re continuously looking in the rearview mirror?
Well, when you’re going through your life, why do you look at the past so much? You’ll be thinking about pursuing something, but then you’ll begin to question yourself. You’ll start to go through all of the events that have occurred in your life that make you unsure of the decision to pursue this goal or dream in the first place! Now an adventure that you could have gone into with some confidence has become an adventure you’re observing while being fearful.
With the Rearview Mirror Theory, we discuss how allowing yourself to live in the past can hinder you from making any progress in the present and, potentially, the future.
Is it survival? Or is it just letting fear get the best of you?
Now, when it comes to being afraid of what may happen because of previous experiences, I have had some experience in this forte. I remember that I would not want to overexert myself because I didn’t want to push myself towards the point of burn out or having a loss of the passion. But, instead, I would be making very little, if any, progress when it came to my goals. I know, shocking. But, to me, I couldn’t understand why! It seemed as if it would make sense that I am trying!
Well, it’s that I was allowing any fears that I had from the past bring themselves into the present. Then, that hindered my sight of the future. All I saw was the past and all of what went wrong rather than the possibility of what all could go right. And, let’s be honest… it’s easier to stay where you are and be comfortable in the position that you’re in. You can think of it as a survival skill that your brain has acquired to keep you safe.
Whenever I think about it, I just think about The Croods. And if you haven’t seen The Croods, I would HIGHLY recommend that movie. I’m not going to give any spoilers to the movie, if you haven’t seen it yet. But, if you’ve watched it before, then I hope that you understand what I’m talking about. Especially because the beginning of the movie sort of displays what I’m mentioning right now!
You can be nervous and STILL follow through
I know that so many people believe that, when it comes to pursuing a dream, you have to do it at the right time. Whenever that feels right for you, of course. Or, they want to put out the perfect product right when they’re starting out. That could be possible, but 99.99% of the time, IT ISN’T! Because, that “perfect time” that you’re waiting for is right now. It’s not when this specific event comes into play or when that person lets me know their opinion. It is now.
A little storytime. I remember when I was in middle school and I had all of these fun ideas on how to host a good party. And yes, in middle school, I was thinking about how to be a good hostess. Well, eventually, I wanted to host my own party. I thought about it long and hard. I worked out all of the details. I was super excited about that plan… until I mentioned it to my friends at the time. And I was laughed at when I mentioned the idea. They thought that me hosting a party would be crazy. And I would put that idea to the side for a bit.
However, months later, I decided to say fuck it and do my party anyway. And guess what? It was a HUGE success. I was able to have fun with all of my friends and classmates. I created core memories. And, I was able to show myself that it can be possible. Because when I had them laugh at me, I questioned my own abilities, which you should NEVER do! But, when I pushed through the fears of it failing and not working out, I created an amazing party. In fact, it was such a success that I hosted the same party for 5 more years. And the concept became bigger and bigger while the guest list became longer and longer.
Now, if you’re questioning why you needed to know why I wanted to host a party, then I’ll get to the point. If I had waited for the “perfect time” when I felt comfortable, then I would have missed the opportunities, the memories, and the fun of just figuring out how to do it and learning from the process of hosting the party. Because, trust me, you’ll most likely not knock it out of the park the first time. And that’s okay! You’re not meant to be the greatest success known to man when you’re first starting out!
You’re learning, you’re growing. You’re concentrating on perfecting your craft. That’s totally okay! And this leads me to my next point.
You’re not going to know everything
When you first learned how to drive, if you know how to drive, did you know what every signal meant? Did you know that when someone flashes their blinkers that it means they’re allowing you to go first? Of course, if you’re not driving yet, then you can use the same example, but for riding a bike. Essentially, think of anything that you were learning for the first time in life. Did you know how to do everything immediately? NO!
You didn’t get behind the wheel and start driving perfectly. It takes practice, lessons by yourself or by a mentor, and it takes time! And that’s perfectly okay! The whole of this is to say that you don’t need to know absolutely everything under the sun about the journey that you’re going through. You want to be a singer, great! I don’t expect you to know how to have amazing breath work and also how to use your voice without straining it. I would be foolish if I thought that. So, allow yourself to be a novice. Allow yourself to become a master in your own craft.
Again, if you keep on thinking about what you’re doing, how it’s gone wrong in the past, how much you don’t know, then you’re going to inhibit yourself from ever moving forward. Just keep looking straight and know that you will achieve your goal!
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