I remember my little cousin bombarding me on whether or not I could take her to the mall or not. I was 19 years old at the time and the first excuse that popped out of my mouth was: “I need an adult to be there.” The instant rebuttal that I NEVER saw coming was her reply: “But you are an adult.” When I tell you, it felt like time had frozen for a second. I had forgotten that I, legally, was an adult.
Now, some of you may be reading this and are thinking that I’m a baby. I’m still young and have A LOT to still figure out. I say to you: You are ABSOLUTELY right. I know that I am still learning how to become a functioning adult. But guess what? So is everyone else! And I had no idea about that until I became an adult.
Movies set me up for a shocker!
I mean, when I was a kid, I remember watching movies where the main character was in her 20’s and she had everything! She had her dream job, the dream boyfriend/significant other, dream house, you name it! Or the movies where the woman is near her 30’s and it’s as if she’s about to turn 110 years old. It’s insinuated that your 30’s are the end of the road. You’re a grandma. And I now know that’s a lie!
But man! High school me was terrified about the terrible 30’s. Yeah it was far away, but it was still coming. Now, I see women and men who are in their 30’s and they’re living their best life! Heck, life has JUST begun for most of them. They’ve found out who they are, what they want out of life, who they want to keep around, and who they want to get lost.
And it gets more shocking… I’ve seen people in their 40’s, 50’s, even 60’s do a complete 180. I know, it’s crazy. But, it’s quite relieving too. You know that you don’t need to know everything, because everything unfolds in its own unique way.
Talking to those older than you
I love talking to those who are older than me, and I don’t mean people who are 25 or 27. I mean people who are mothers, grandparents, just people who have experienced much more life than I have. I mean, they have been dealing with life for a good bit. And you know what I noticed? They become less worried about the things they were planning to do at this age or what their plans were 25 years ago.
It seems as if they let loose and allow life to take them on a journey rather than take life on a journey. And I know that might not make sense to some of y’all, so I’ll say it in this way: They know that life will go on and they’ll be okay. Not everything that you plan works out. It doesn’t mean that you were horrible at planning. It just means that there’s another plan meant for you that you just don’t see.
It’s funny to look back at moments and watch the red yarn slowly connect all of those random memories together to create a complete puzzle. Then you get to see why this happened at this time and why this person came into your life. Trust me, it may take a couple of years for that moment to wash over you. But, when it does, it kind of makes you think to yourself: Wow, so it was all for a reason.
Feeling more comfortable in your own skin!
You also feel more comfortable just being you, at least for most people. There’s always going to be people who will always be chasing the chance to fit in a square hole when they’re a circle (if that metaphor makes sense). If not, there’s always going to be people who are ALWAYS trying to fit in somewhere. Whether it’s to be seen by the people in that in-group, to feel good, or just because they feel like it.
I know that we all had that phase in middle school, high school, maybe even college, where we were trying to fit in. We were trying to find our place in the school ecosystem, and even just in life’s ecosystem. You begin to experiment and learn from trial and error what makes you feel the most comfortable in your own skin. You figure out what boosts your confidence and makes you feel small.
I know that, for me, middle school and high school was the time for me to figure out what made me feel comfortable in my skin when it came to clothing. Now, I’ll say that 2010’s fashion is much different than 2020’s, but I still rocked my outfits! And after years and years of perfecting my craft, I now know what my own style is. In fact, I’m even expanding my own style to this day and finding more aesthetics that are amazing!
And these are the things that you can perfect as time goes on and as you become an adult!
All in all: life is meant to be explored, NOT planned
Now, this statement above I am going to go into detail. Yes, it is nice to make a plan on what you would like to do in life. HOWEVER, you might drive yourself mad if you force yourself to stick to the plan detail by detail. And, if anything doesn’t happen EXACTLY as you envisioned it or the way you planned it, you think that it’s wrong and the correct way is your envisioned way.
If you are like this, maybe I could show you the perspective that I like to have when it comes to plans in life. Whenever I have a plan that I’m coming up with, I tell myself this: It’s going to be this or something better. And that’s it. I don’t put pressure on when, where, how, who, what. It’s not my job to figure that out. I do my part in the planning by figuring out what it is I want to do, and then I allow life to happen. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
And I like this way of thinking, because it allows me to be free rather than in a box. I can make adjustments and now freak out because it’s not the same as what I wanted it to be. I allow life to surprise me, and who doesn’t love surprises?
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