I have an excellent self critic, and I sometimes forget that I am a human being who is going to make mistakes. My mom would always tell me that the one thing that you are going to be perfect at is being imperfect, so don’t expect perfection from yourself.
And I have to remind myself that doing my best is the best that I can do. But, everyone has their days where you may be a bit harsher on yourself than those around you. So, these are the things that I have implemented into my life that have helped me be more compassionate to myself.
Who says you have to be perfect?
There may be times where you feel as if you are being pushed to your limits. That may be for work, family, or friends. There are also times where you may be pushing yourself a bit too hard, and you just can’t see it.
I had done this many times when it came to certain things. I would think to myself that I had to do this in a certain manner. Then it felt as if I was upholding myself to an unintended high standard and would wonder why I would feel so bad.
There were even times during school where it felt as if all of my classes were asking so much of me. Each class demanded so many hours from me, and I knew that I only had so many hours in the day. I also knew that I needed to take care of myself mentally, physically, have my social time and alone time, and much more.
I soon had to ask myself why I felt like doing my best wasn’t enough? I eventually learned to just do my best and that is all that counted. If they wanted more, then they were gonna have to help me then.
Know your best is enough
As I stated earlier in the previous section, I learned to just do my best and know that doing my best is all that matters. I can say that I gave it my all and that is enough at the end of the day.
You’ve given it your all and you should be proud of you. Life is gonna happen the way that it is meant to happen. You just have to go with the flow of life. Sometimes, that means things don’t go to plan, or obstacles come in the way, but that’s okay.
When I released the worry of if my best is enough, I gave myself peace. I always think that everything is working out for me, so it is not my job to worry about if my efforts are enough. I know that my efforts are enough, and that is all that matters. My efforts will be seen.
Your efforts will be seen. It may not be seen by the people you wanted, but it will be seen by the people you needed. Some of those people are some that you know, while others are those who you will know.
Sometimes you have to take back
There are going to be situations or even people that are going to just take, take, and take. And at some point, giving and giving will soon make you give out less and less. To give all of yourself and to not be given anything back is draining.
Sometimes you have to take back what you were giving to get yourself back to normal. Again, that is okay! If you keep giving yourself to something, or someone, that isn’t giving you anything in return, one person is benefitting. In a balanced relationship, there is equal give and take, or at least compromises so that things are fair.
No one wants a tick just leeching on them, so why do we accept situations or people that leech on us? It may seem confrontational or hard to confront the problem at head, but I promise you that it makes a difference.
I remember when I was in a friendship where I was doing my very best to improve that person to be the best version of themselves. However, I began to notice that this friend wasn’t doing the same for me. Actually, he was doing the opposite. I started to feel bad about myself and started criticizing things I didn’t in the past.
And one day, I just hit my limit. I started taking back everything that I had been giving. I just stopped caring, because their actions were showing that they weren’t caring about me. When I started taking back my energy, all of a sudden my presence was starting to be missed.
I didn’t care though, because I moved on and knew that my efforts would be appreciated by someone else. And they were! I am so glad that I stopped that friendship because it was draining. And my friend got mad at me and is probably still mad at me, but again, I. don’t. care.
If they want to be mad, they can be mad at themselves. I would bring up these issues to my friend and they would go in one ear and out the other. There were issues that were fixed, but that doesn’t really matter when the big issues are just ignored.
So, just remember that your time and your efforts should be acknowledged for being the treasures that they are. I know that my time is precious and I don’t like to waste my time. Please keep that in mind.
It may take time, but it is worth it
For me, I am still working on giving myself grace. Just like anything with progress, sometimes you take a huge step forwards. Then, there are some days where it feels as if you are stuck or you’re going back. We are all trying, and the fact that you’re trying is all that matters. Your efforts are being seen.
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