I remember watching Spongebob Squarepants, a classic, and hearing Squidward mention that everyone was a critic. And honestly, he’s so true! I’ve been occasionally scrolling on Instagram and I see a cute or sweet reel. I’ll look at the comments, because I’m curious what other people are saying about the reel. You know what I see? I see people going absolute ham on the person as if they are a critic being paid by characters to express their opinion.
I have seen people get pissed off about people sharing their day-to-day vlogs, recipes, opinions on their own lives, etc. I mean, social media has made people really comfortable saying comments that they would probably never say in person. But, there are also people who are confident enough to say their comments in person as well. There’s always going to be someone who comments on what you’re doing, wearing, talking about, etc. So, here’s how to tune out the noise of others.
Know it’s their opinions
I think that sometimes people confuse people’s opinions as facts. One person may think you’re annoying. Guess what… it’s not a fact. You’re not going to be able to search up your name and have a scientific article confirm that YOU are an annoying person based on what that individual said. It’s just based on that person’s beliefs. Because guess what? There’s probably people that think that person is annoying.
When it comes to interacting with other people, there are going to be personalities that are going to get along perfectly. Then, there will be personalities that will clash. You’re not going to get along with every single person, and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t get along with someone, so don’t take it personal when someone doesn’t get along with you!
I remember in high school when I was told that I was “too happy.” I would have never guessed that being happy would be a complaint that someone would have about someone, but I was very much wrong. When I first heard that, I felt a bit annoyed that someone could be annoyed that I’m too happy. But, eventually, I learned that if my “happiness” makes that person annoyed, that’s THEIR issue, not mine.
Know you’re not going to please everyone
I remember going through a phase when I wanted to be liked by people. And I stretched myself to my limits, and sometimes past it, just to try to appease some people who probably never thought about my actions at all. Once I got tired of that, because I did real fast, I realized that I could do everything and not please people. If I try to fit in, there are going to be people who will ridicule me for trying. If I try not to fit in, there’s going to be people who ridicule me for not trying to fit in.
You’re not going to win every battle. So, just choose to be yourself. That way, when you find people who like you, you know that they like you for you! They like you for your authentic self rather than the mask that you’ve put on to hide your true self. It may feel uncomfortable to feel rejected by people when you are truly yourself, but that’s okay!
I made it a bit easier for me to accept that rejection by thinking that those people weren’t meant to be in my circle. Those who were meant to be in my circle were those who truly accepted me as I am. Because, who wouldn’t want their friends to love them for who they are?
Know you’ll be the one to regret it if you listen to people’s harsh critics
I’ve heard many people, when they become older, talk about how they regret allowing people to get in their heads about their dreams. They would go on about how they had a specific dream that they always wanted to make happen. They went to discuss it with someone, and when that person expressed negative opinions about their dreams, they decided to quit. They didn’t want to disrupt the status quo and just dropped the dream.
Now, years later, they regret that decision so much. They would do anything to go back in time and pursue that dream, even if the dream didn’t work out. Because, at least they could say that they gave it their best shot. You don’t want people’s opinions to be the cause of regret later. Those people will have moved on with their own lives. And you know what you’ll be doing? You’ll be thinking about the words they said. But, you let them get inside your head.
People’s words only have power IF you let them. Someone can tell you that you’re ugly, annoying, too much, not enough, etc. And you can let those words be like bags of rocks pulling you down to the bottom of a lake. Or, you can let those words go and allow them to not be attached to you, because they shouldn’t. What should be attached to you is how you view yourself. The words you associate with yourself, which I hope are positive, are the words that you should keep attached to yourself.
Know you’ll run yourself ragged trying to please people
I know I mentioned this a bit previously, but I feel as if it must be repeated! You can tear yourself apart by trying to be cool, trying to fit in and make yourself more digestible to more people! I remember seeing this quote online and I loved it so much:
“It’s not my job to make myself more digestible.”
I truly believe that. You shouldn’t have to water yourself down so people can like you better. If they don’t like you, then they don’t like you. You can grow on them or you can go somewhere else. If you tried to appease everyone and make them like you, I think you would have 50+ different personalities.
I look back in the past and think about how I saw so many people continue to fit themselves in such tight boxes to be in a certain clique. And I would later learn how much they felt inadequate, boxed in, and alienated because they felt like they couldn’t be themselves. They listened to the critics of what other people said and adjusted their behaviors to not listen to the critiques.
There were people in my middle school and high school who were seen as the “weird kids.” To these people, they dressed up funny, had weird interests, ate weird foods, etc. Guess what? Those people who they deemed as weird are THRIVING. And the ones who were doing all the critiquing are going through a quarter life crisis because they don’t know who they are. They were so busy trying to impress everyone else that they forgot to figure out who they were at all!
So, learn to be who you are! Do not let those who have opinions change who you are, what you want to do, or who you want to be. Let it be background noise, or, better yet, let it be silent!
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