When it comes to certain papers, as they become older and age, they begin to yellow and darken. The paper becomes much more fragile and it’s more susceptible to tearing and crumbling as well.
And just like paper, some friendships begin to yellow as they become older. Eventually, there becomes a time when you have to get rid of the paper.
Well, it’s the same when it comes to certain friendships. But, sometimes, it’s not as easy. Sometimes, you want to keep the paper because of the memories that the paper holds. Or, you can not realize that it’s time to release the old to invite the new.
So, learn from me about how to release friendships when it’s time to.
Understand that some friendships aren’t meant to last forever
There’s a phrase that I love to say to myself whenever I’m thinking about a friendship that’s beginning to yellow. There are three types of friendships that you encounter in life. The first one is one that lasts for a season. The second one is one that lasts for a reason. The third, and the one that everyone loves and hopes to achieve, is that it lasts for a lifetime.
There are many friendships that I have had in my life where I thought that those friendships would last forever. I would imagine that we would go through life together and be able to enjoy the growth of our journeys together while still growing separately. That’s not always the case though. Sometimes, the Universe has other plans that you are unable to see.
Obviously, I don’t think you go into a friendship and know for sure that this friendship is going to be for a reason (lesson) or a season. You don’t know if this friendship will last forever or not. But, it’s better to allow the friendship to develop without any expectations that may cause your vision to blur when it comes to what the friendship actually is. Because, trust me, whenever you do that, it eventually shows you in a more obvious and less subtle way what the friendship is meant to be.
Know it’s okay to mourn the loss of the friendship
It’s okay to be sad that the relationship is coming to an end or has come to an end. It’s okay to mourn the relationship and what it was. Sometimes it can take a bit to finally get used to the idea that this person is no longer a key component in your life anymore. The memories that you shared in the past will stay memories, and those memories may even fade as time goes by. I mean, I like to think of a friendship as similar, if not the same, as the breakup of a romantic relationship.
It’s especially hard if the friendship was a good one and there weren’t that many issues within the relationship. It just may be that you guys are slowly drifting apart, going different directions, or just slowly stopped talking to each other. However, whenever it’s a problematic friendship, I believe that those are one of the easiest, if not, the easiest friendships to get over.
When it comes to releasing a friendship, I always like to tell myself that this friendship has ended for a reason. I may not know the reason, but I just know that its ending has a purpose. I just have to come to terms with the situation and do my best to move on. Dwelling on the past like what could I have done differently to make this not happen isn’t going to help you. In fact, it may even torture you and just cause you to live in the past rather than being able to look forward to the future.
Know that you’ll meet other people!
Well, just like you met that person, you’ll meet others. You may even meet others who resonate even more with you than the previous person. I know that I found that to be true. I have also found that I’ve found someone who’s complementary to me and we complete each other like a puzzle. When that happens, I don’t really think about the previous person and what the relationship would have been in that current moment.
Instead, I think about how grateful I am that the previous relationship was released, by your choice or the Universe’s, so I could have room for this relationship to come into my life. In fact, I usually get to use some of the lessons that I have learned from the previous relationship in the current friendship. I learn what red flags that I need to look out for whenever I’m talking to someone that I believe to be a potential friend.
For example, someone who’s ALWAYS talking bad about someone is a person that I’m weary of. You may think that this is an overreaction, but I’m telling you that, from my perspective, it isn’t. Someone who talks nothing but negative about a person is someone who just holds negativity within and surrounds themselves with it. Do you want to be surrounded by someone who brings rain when it’s a sunny day? I know I don’t.
Also, someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions and refutes it back to you. RUN. A person that believes, in their eyes, that every wrong that they do is somehow your fault is a menace to society and a headache to deal with. You can take my word for it, or you can just have first-hand experience with it yourself. Your choice, of course.
If it’s meant to be, it’ll come back
Let’s just say that you have a friendship and y’all just slowly drift apart. I always like to think that, if they’re meant to be in my life, they’ll come back into my life. It doesn’t matter if I think they’re meant to be in my life. It matters if they’re TRULY meant to be in my life, and it’s for my highest good. And trust me, it can happen! Because, sometimes, life just takes you into crazy directions, and you get caught up in the moment. You forget about certain things, and soon you come to realize that it’s slipped through the cracks.
Now, I’m going to be honest, I haven’t had an experience like that before. But, I know that it’s possible! I’ve seen those around me reunite with someone from the past that they disconnected with for a bit. They start to catch up and then, once discussing everything, they begin to realize how much was going on in each other’s lives and also how much time has flown by! It’s beautiful to see two people find each other again, especially platonic relationships!
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