I have heard many people whom I am close to complain about their love lives. They’ll complain about how the dating world is so much work, too many people not looking for love, and just talking about how disappointed they feel in not finding their true partner. With some of those people, this is true! They’re just going through the process of finding love.
However, there are others who are complaining who are also putting themselves in these situations. Whether it’s conscious or not, they’re making finding love harder than what it seems.
Aren’t you the prize?
One of the mistakes I see from my friends, especially the women, is that they chase the guy down! The guys that are approaching them and treating them nice? Nope. They want the one that they have to chase down and pin. These are the guys that are playing hard to get in their hands. In reality, they’re just not that interested.
If anything, these guys show the bare minimum of interest just to get their own satisfaction and then ghost. Then, they complain that they were so misleading, but then you hear that all they did was compliment them occasionally and acted as a gentleman on some occasions. It’s insane they’re standards are below par, they’re in the basement’s basement.
And I have seen the same behavior in men too! I have seen a guy talk about proposing to a girl who dumped him for another girl and ghosted him. Yet, the man drove over seven hours to spend two days with her. Now, the girls who were really interested in him… they were dogged. He thought those girls weren’t all that.
If you treated him like dirt, he treated you like a queen. If you treated him like an equal, he treated you like trash. Now, this sort of mentality can be from many factors. It can be because you believe that this is the kind of love that you deserve. It can also be because you like the idea that this person is interested in you. Yeah, they treat you poorly, but people are jealous that you’re with this individual.
And, I want you to remember this: you are a prize! You are not meant to be something that’s bargained. You should know your worth and allow people in who see your worth. There’s people out there who would rather take coal than diamond, and that’s okay! Does that mean that the diamond is worthless? No. It just means that person’s view of importance is different from others.
Stay with a dog and you get fleas
I have heard of people staying with those who are serial cheaters, serial liars, but then complain about that person and their behavior. At first, being a good friend, you listen to their complaints. However, as time goes on, you begin to realize that they’re not getting rid of that problem. They’re only wanting to complain about it.
You can give them solutions, but you know that those are going in one ear and going out the other. You’ll hear how they’re staying because of x, y, z, but never that they’re leaving for x, y, z. It may even take a toll on you just hearing the same issue that will never be solved.
Why do people stay then? Well, it could be that they’re holding onto the person of the past and not the person of the present. People change and evolve, for better or for worse. But, sometimes, people don’t want to acknowledge the present because it means that things have changed. That means issues have to be addressed, which may cause more riffs. So, they rather shut up.
There are other reasons. Some are more complicated than others. I’ll just stick to the more simpler reasons. One of the other reasons is that, again, they believe that this is the love that they deserve. They can say that this person is sweet to me occasionally, so I’ll just stay. It’s better to settle than try to go into the unknown and find better. They might think that they won’t get anything better.
I want to say that this mentality is incorrect for so many reasons! I believe that you can get someone better, but there’s something key that needs to happen to that person. They have to believe it. You can lead a horse to water but can’t make them drink it. And if you are confused by that saying, this is what I’m getting at: I can only help you so much. Soon, it becomes your duty to get yourself out of that situation.
The path of broken hearts
Now, there are other individuals who don’t have the mentality that I have mentioned earlier in the blog post. These are people who are just on the path of getting their heart broken until you find someone who mends their heart together. Everyone has their different journeys. Some take days, months, years, and even longer.
There are some who know that they’ve met the one on the first glance, first date, first conversation, etc. For others, it takes time for the love to be acknowledged. Either way, everyone has their specific love story and love journey. And with those many who had their hearts broken many times, they eventually found their person.
Some of them may have given up completely on love and that’s when they found it. There may be some who found it when they needed it most. The thing about love is that it happens in mysterious ways sometimes. So, if you are an individual who’s having a difficult time staying on the track of broken hearts, I can understand.
I just want to say that, in my opinion, when it brings you to your person, it makes you feel as if those heartbreaks and those previous people were worth it. Because, they brought you to the love of your life. So, if you can, stay on the path. But, if you need to take a break and go on the self-love path, do it! Loving yourself is such an essential part when it comes to being in a relationship.
If you don’t know, love, respect, or like yourself, then you can set the standard on what can be done in the relationship. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, I’ll explain it in this way. Whenever you go to someone’s house and their house is pristine and smells nice, are you going to be messy? No! You’re going to respect the house and want to keep it in its current condition.
Okay, well, what happens if you go to someone’s house and it’s a pigsty. Will you respect the house as well as the other house? You may not, because you came in and it was already a pigsty. It’s a similar thing. People will see how to treat yourself and will mirror that action back to you. So, if you notice that you’re also doing these actions, then YOU have to change that.
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