I like being alone. I get to enjoy my own company, have some quiet time, and not have to deal with other people’s bs. It’s very nice and relaxing. So why do some people have a negative connotation with people being alone?
I have seen videos of people recording a person eating by themselves and will make a comment on how lonely that person may be. I have also heard some people just be afraid of being alone. The reasons vary, but I find it so interesting that there are people out there who avoid being alone like the bubonic plague.
So, I wanted to make this for both the people who love to be alone and the people who avoid being alone. I have been in both positions before, so hopefully I can give some advice for those who dislike alone time to grow some fondness for it. I also want to affirm to those who love alone time that it’s okay to!
So, let’s grab a broomstick and fly right into this topic.
Never been alone
There are some people who dislike being alone because they have never been alone. I know that experience because my mom has had that experience. She has never been alone her whole life. She was raised in a big family with a bunch of brothers and sisters. Then, she got married very young and also had her children, my siblings, very young as well.
Hence, she has never had a prolonged period of time where she has been by herself. She has always been surrounded by her family. Now, I want to preface this: she can be alone. It’s not as if my mom will combust if she has some alone time. Even she likes her alone time. It’s just that she dislikes being at home by herself at night.
Some people are just used to the noisiness of hearing people walk down the hallway, go to the kitchen to get a midnight snack, someone falling asleep to that movie or tv show that they’ve watched a million times.
I like to make a suggestion to those people who have just never had the opportunity to be alone. If you have a bit of time where you can have that alone time, give it a try. You don’t have to force yourself to be alone for 24 hours. I would recommend for you to be alone for 30 minutes, or whatever time you believe is best.
Then, as you get comfortable with that time, slowly increase the time. And you just keep on with this process until you feel as if you reached your goal. Now, I don’t know what that goal is for you. But, I would say to make the goal realistic. Again, don’t go in and tell yourself that you’re gonna be able to be alone for 24 hours. Take a little step and see how you feel.
You’re in a new era of you
I have had personal experience with this. I was in a period of my life where things were starting to change around me. I realized that the friends that I would talk to a bunch were people who I wasn’t talking to as much. Everyone around was busy, and I had more time with myself than I had ever had.
Usually school would take up so much of my time that I would just do schoolwork, rest, and repeat. But this semester was the easiest semester I had ever had since I started college, so I had so much time on my hands.
Which was what I wanted, but, again, the people around me were busy. Yeah, I got to spend more time with them, but not as much as I thought. So, I started to feel really lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I like alone time, but too much alone time isn’t always fun. I knew what I had to do.
I had to get out of the house. Explore the world around me. I didn’t have to make friends, but I wanted to interact with other people, or just the world. I would go to my local park and walk my dog. I went to the bookstore and started reading more books. I dove more into my passion projects and, all of the sudden, I felt less lonely.
I know it may seem very rudimentary, but sometimes life’s solutions are really simple. If ever I feel off, I ask myself, “When is the last time I’ve been outside of my house?” If I can’t remember, that’s a sign for me to get out of the house. It doesn’t mean I have to go somewhere extravagant, but I need to go somewhere.
My usual go to is the park because of how lovely nature is for me. It feels nice to feel the autumn wind surround me and bring me a bit of goosebumps. Or seeing the world has its own transformation as the green leaves become its golden, auburn, or copper color.
You’re afraid to be alone
Now this is a topic that I am not too familiar with, but I have heard people talk about this issue. There are people out there who just can’t be alone with themselves. For the most part, the problem they usually have with this is because they don’t want to be alone with problems or issues that they’ve been avoiding. With those people in mind, this is the piece of advice I would give you: you can’t run forever.
There was a very short period in my life where I did not deal with my issues. I was a kid at that time, so dealing with those issues was a topic that I have no experience in. And you may be asking, well didn’t you have adults that you could talk to you? Yes, I did. But, I didn’t. So, I just dealt with what came at me and just kept it moving.
I didn’t mean to do it, but I would bury my emotions and feelings on issues because I just had so much going on. I didn’t have time to process what was going on in the past because there was something going on in the present. It was then one day when my emotions just bursted.
I now do my best to process my emotions and feelings on issues whenever they come, because burying them only adds pressure. If you can, TRY and deal with those issues. Those tries can be to cry, be angry, write it down, talk to yourself, talk to someone else, whatever it may be.
This is the way I like to think about it: you can go through a little bit of rain and get some drops on you. Or, you can run away from the clouds that turn into a thunderstorm, and you get drenched all while trying to catch your breath.
Try to get a little bit of rain rather than getting drenched.
But I like being alone
Now, you can just be an individual who likes being alone. And, if you are that individual, same here! I like being alone. It’s so nice to be one with yourself and have that peace from the ongoing world. My presence is just enough for me.
Again, I have heard people who think it’s weird when people are alone. I think it’s quite amazing that you can be your own friend. You can enjoy your own company. If there are people who are poking fun at you because you spend some time alone, then I would question why they think it’s a big deal.
Most of the people that had a problem with me being alone were people who, themselves, couldn’t stand being alone by themselves. I would just shrug them off and continue my alone time. My alone time wasn’t killing them, so if they had a problem with it, they could deal with that problem.
Alone time shouldn’t be seen as a weird thing. I think it’s healthy to have some alone time with yourself and nurture yourself. So, it’s okay! Be with yourself and have that alone time!
Leave a Reply